


A Lovely Mess

by guilttrippingg



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Claudia Stilinski Feels, Depressed Stiles, Derek Comes Back, Derek is a Softie, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen Work, Hurt Stiles, Oblivious Scott, PTSD Stiles, Panic Attacks, Pre-Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Pre-Slash, Protective Derek, Spoilers, Worried Derek, s5 ep 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 13:24:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4393562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guilttrippingg/pseuds/guilttrippingg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*season 5 spoilers*</p><p>"So, with blood on his hands, he decided to call the one person who might be able to actually help him, Derek".</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lovely Mess

**Author's Note:**

> *season 5 episode 5 spoilers*
> 
>  
> 
> (Title is from the song "A Lovely Mess" by Front Porch Step).

Sat in his car with trembling hands, he reached for his phone, calling 911 had been a bust and there was no chance Stiles would call Scott-not like he'd believe him anyway. He was a fool to think that maybe he could get through senior year without some crazy monster trying to kill him. Now _he_ was the monster. _He_ was the one with blood on his hands. _He_ is a murderer. Scott would never forgive him.

So, with blood on his hands, he decided to call the one person who might be able to actually help him, Derek. Before senior year, along with Cora, Derek left to god knows where-probably to try and get some sort of emotional stability (god knows the guy needs some), and now Stiles was about to ruin any emotional progress Derek might have made by dragging him right back into the mess that is life in beacon hills. No one else would listen though. No one else realised that trust isn't something to be given _freely_. They can't trust because it gets people hurt and of all people, he knew Derek would understand that. He _needed_ him to.

Somewhere in between the nogitsune and Allison and the dead pool, Stiles had begun to feel like he was losing himself and now it was really like the last of him had truly gone; it was terrifying. So here he is, a broken boy in his broken jeep, with trembling hands reaching for his phone. Eventually he managed to dial out Dereks number (which he may have secretly acquired a while back because, _hey_ , trust issues and paranoia).

It was ringing. he couldn't breathe.

Stiles' anxiety was at an all time high-it hadn't been this bad since his mom but he couldn't bear to think of that right now, not with his stained red hands barely fifty feet from a boy he just _killed_. He can tell himself that it was self defense all he likes but he still _killed_ someone. It was like the nogitsune never left, like he was still void and it terrified him to think that maybe it wasn't completely gone, that part of the nogitsune lingered and was controlling him. Or, even worse, that the nogitsune was gone and stiles was already a monster before then.

The ringing stopped. Derek had actually picked up but Stiles couldn't bring himself to speak as his shaky breaths caught in his throat. Thoughts raced through his mind at a mile a minute. He didn't deserve help, they would all hate him. No. He did what he had to do. No. He could faintly hear distant calls of "stiles? stiles can you hear me? stiles what's wrong?" sounding through the phone but he felt as though submerged in water, drowning. Everything around him felt as though it was just background noise-happening somewhere else.

His hands clutched the steering wheel of the jeep. Stiles' head was spinning and he didn't really know what he was doing, he knew that needed to get away from the school but his body wouldn't allow any movement. Paralysed, he remained this way for twenty minutes until he could clearly make out Dereks' now soft voice telling him to "just breathe" and "i'll find you". Telling Stiles that "i'm coming back" and "stay where you are and stay safe".

Stiles couldn't help but feel responsible for leading Derek back to a place that held such painful memories for him. He _knows_ he is, and the sad part is that he's grateful.

**Author's Note:**

> ~first fan fic i've ever written~
> 
>  
> 
> (also if you're reading this, hey Davina)


End file.
